New Moon Re-Do
by CodependentLiza
Summary: A different take on the Cullen family's reaction to the paper cut incident at the start of New Moon, operating from the premise that if the Cullens loved Bella the way CodependentLiza wants them to, they never would have left Forks-because Alice wouldn't let them. I know, I know, vampire loyalty trumps all...except love? AU, canon couples


**Stephenie Meyer is the owner of all things Twilight, and the genius that gave us all this wonderful exercise in the archetypal communal subconscious. Thanks to her for writing, and to you for reading.**

**XxXxXx**

Jasper's lunge towards Bella after her paper cut was, of course, Edward's worst nightmare come true.

After ensuring Bella's immediate safety as best he could, Edward's guilt over her suffering once more because of who and what he was kept him from staying with her while Carlisle attended to her injuries. This left him easy prey to all the doubts, worries and fears he had ever entertained concerning Bella and his relationship with her.

The result was easily predictable, and Alice saw with clarity the horror that lay in front of them all as Edward made up his mind within moments of the near-attack that he would end the relationship, for Bella's sake.

As Edward is thinking through how best to say good-bye, waiting in the forest near the house for Carlisle to finish stitching up Bella's wounds, Jasper slowly comes up to him from deeper in the woods where Emmett had dragged him to regain his senses. Standing in front of Edward, his shoulders back and his head erect but shame in his eyes and humility in his bearing, Jasper apologizes.

In a voice the most subdued and serious Edward has ever heard it, Jasper says, "I am so very sorry, Edward. It grieves my heart to know what I have done, and what I almost caused to happen. I hope you can forgive me, but I will understand if you cannot."

Edward moves forward and clasps Jasper's arm, accepting the apology without hesitation by saying, "But it wasn't your fault, Jasper. I was the fool who set both of you up. _I_ should be apologizing to _you_ for the torture you've had to endure the past few months."

"It hasn't been torture," Jasper objects. Edward just raises one eyebrow and stares at him, so Jasper continues, "Yes, of course it's been hard, but she makes you and Allie so happy, the…discomfort has been completely worth it. It still would be worth it, if you would be willing to give me a second chance. Alice is so devastated, I'm not sure I'm even capable of making the same mistake again, and I swear to you on my honor that I will do everything in my power to make sure I don't."

"I can't ask that of you, Jasper. I _won't_ ask that of you. And I sure as hell won't put Bella in any more situations involving …what we are."

Jasper feels the resolution in Edward's tone, and within Edward, and his hope for salvaging the situation—and Alice's happiness—plummets. "Including you?" he forces himself to ask.

"Starting with me," Edward replies grimly, and he turns back towards the house to put his exit plan in motion while Jasper moves away to re-join Alice, keeping a careful distance from the house and Bella's scent, his heart heavy with grief and guilt.

Alice is furious, and is barely contained by Jasper as Edward drives away with Bella, back to Bella's house, Alice knowing full well that Edward is already starting the process of breaking her best friend's heart. And her own.

Emotional intimacy is not so easily come by in Alice's existence that she can contemplate losing the fledging relationship with Bella without great pain and sadness. And given that she sees no good reason to lose it so, Alice is already rehearsing the counter-arguments to every objection she foresees Edward presenting at the emergency meeting he plans to convene immediately after his return.

As it turns out, the convening is unnecessary, for two by two the Cullens all gather in the dining room to await Edward's return. They sit in absolute vampire silence. Jasper won't meet anyone's eyes, and really the only two communicating beyond Emmett's holding Rosalie's hand are Esme, who keeps darting anxious glances at Carlisle, and Carlisle, who keeps trying to send calm and reassuring looks Esme's way. Carlisle is not feeling calm and assured, however, and Jasper is so caught up in his own agony that he's unable to assist his family with the painful intensity of their feelings the way he normally does.

So, when Edward returns from Bella's house (leaving as soon as she is soundly asleep), all his family is waiting for him around the dining room table. Edward enters and stands at the head of the table, his hands gripping the chair in front of him, unable to relax enough to sit down.

The loaded silence continues until Edward finally speaks: "I'm sure you're all aware that I'm requesting we leave Forks as soon as possible."

Then there's a commotion. Rosalie says, "It's about time," as Esme and Alice both utter emotional protests. "Edward, no!" says Esme, while Alice is more confrontational, saying "Over my un-dead body."

Edward turns and faces his sister, knowing she is the biggest hurdle to overcome in order to protect Bella, and says evenly, "If necessary."

Jasper stands at this, moving between Edward and Alice. "Brother, I wronged you, and the woman you love, so I'm going to let that comment pass. But one pass is all you're going to get. Speak like that to my wife again and we are brothers no longer."

Inside, Edward's heart is twisting, the broken remnants being wrung out, squeezed impossibly smaller and made unbelievably more broken, but he has set this course for himself because he is convinced it is the right thing to do towards Bella, and generally, not to mention the only way he can go forward in this miserable existence. Anything else seems irredeemably selfish.

"Brother," Edward says measuredly towards the man whom he has previously gladly trusted his life with, and Bella's, "I hear you, but I need your wife to hear me. I will not—I cannot—tolerate any further meddling with Isabella Swan. She deserves to be free of us, and the destruction we wreak in her life; she deserves to be free of me."

"She doesn't want to be free of you, Edward!" Alice shrieks from around Jasper's body, leaning to the side to be seen. "It will kill her! Literally!"

"Oh? Have you seen that?" Edward asks, knowing she hasn't; knowing there's nothing more of Bella's future in Alice's mind right now than hazy, human images, and that's good enough for Edward who's putting a lot of value on the human part.

"Of course not, but only because I will never make the decision to leave her!"

"It's not your decision to make, Alice," Edward says gravely, turning to his father then for support. "Carlisle?"

Carlisle has been watching the proceedings, heartsick and painfully anxious for all of his children, including Bella, whom he has easily grown to love as a daughter, appreciating her humanness the same way Edward does. He also knows part of the conflict stems from Edward's failure to ever fully accept being a vampire, feeling it a condemnation rather than an alternate form of spiritual life, and Carlisle feels a heavy burden of guilt for having saddled Edward with that burden by turning him. Especially given how happy having Edward for a son has made Carlisle.

So it is definitely as a father figure, trying to keep his son from making a decision Carlisle believes Edward can only regret, that he says what he does next: "Son, normally there would be no question but that we would all move at any member of our family's urgent request. You know that. But in this instance, I have to ask you to think a little longer about what such a decision would do to Isabella, and to this family, and to your future."

"I have no future worth thinking about if I knowingly and willfully continue to expose Bella to danger! Absolutely none!"

"And yet, one of the most difficult aspects of human life is that there is no way to be completely safe. You can leave, and then she will be without a great protector, vulnerable to all the human predators that may be much more likely to harm her than anyone in this room will ever be again."

Edward hates this fact, and has been trying to ignore it. Hearing it spoken so calmly by his father makes him fill with rage and terror, and his body starts to vibrate. Soon he breaks the back of the chair he's been gripping, splitting it right down the middle.

Edward doesn't even take notice of the broken chair, so intent is he on preventing himself from lunging at the only father he has left and destroying him with his own hands.

Everyone at the table is frozen again, aware of the extremity of emotion gripping Edward and the tenuousness with which their family's future remains one of unity and love.

Finally, Rosalie, who's been doing some inner twisting of her own at the opposite end of the table, speaks. It is uncharacteristically quiet and subdued, but it is clear as a bell as her words echo in the room: "Edward, I think I've been wrong about Bella."

This breaks the violence of Edward's trance a little, though he is derisive in his response, snorting and looking unkindly at Rosalie as he spits, "_Now_ you choose to give up your selfish victim act, Rose? Now- when it could actually help the girl?"

A heartbeat later, though of course none of those assembled can actually measure time that way, Emmett lumbers to his feet, leaning in over the table in front of his Rosie, and saying with less menace than Jasper but every bit as much intent, "Watch your word choice, Eddie boy. Rosie's been trying; she's a good sister to you."

Edward draws an unnecessary breath as he marshals his response, but whether it was the human reminder of breathing or the look of utter devastation he catches in Esme's face out of the corner of his eye, he changes his retort from questioning the accuracy of Emmett's characterization to merely letting out a bitter, guttural laugh. "Yes, Rose has always been so fond of me, and of Bella."

Esme ventures sadly, "That's not fair, Edward—" but she's interrupted by Rose.

"Yes, Esme, it's actually perfectly fair," Rose responds, though she's looking at Edward as she says it. "I have hated you for not wanting me when Carlisle brought me home. I have hated you for rejecting me in my most vulnerable moment. So how could I but hate the woman you finally decided was good enough for you?"

Edward raises his eyebrows, surprised by the honesty of Rose's admission. Slowly, he responds in kind. "I regret the words I spoke that night, Rosalie. They were unkind, and unfair, and wholly unwarranted. I am sorry not to have apologized before now; I rather thought you preferred I not mention it."

"I did prefer that, or I thought I did; I tried to forget; I tried to pretend; I tried to move on. My looks were everything, Edward; and until you, they were enough."

"You mean, until the vile rapist you almost married."

Emmett breaks in with an angry, "Hey, man!" but Rose puts a hand on his arm, still staring at Edward.

"No, Emmie, it's all right; Edward's right. All I had was my beauty, and it was taken, and used, and left for trash on the street. I was so ashamed of what Royce did to me, but the worst of it wasn't what he had done, it was what I had been. A vain, conceited, ignorant, spoiled girl who worried more about the cut of her wedding dress than the character of her groom. I have to live with that knowledge of myself, for the rest of eternity."

"That's not who you are anymore, Rose. You left that identity behind with your human life," Edward consoles, feeling more an older brother to the wounded vampire across the table from him than he'd ever felt before—and surprisingly, liking it.

"Oh, isn't it? Then why am I such a bitch to dear Isabella?"

"Because you can't help it; because she's everything you're not and I love her and you take that as a personal insult because I didn't love you the same way. But I do love you as a sister, Rose, you know that, right? Yes, I would have told Carlisle to leave you on the street, it's true; but I am glad he didn't."

Rose is surprised; shocked even. "You are?" she asks, incredulous.

Edward is surprised himself. He tilts his head, furrows his brow and says, "Of course. You didn't know that?"

"You don't exactly exude affection, Edward. Except for Alice, and Esme. And of course, Bella. What was I to think? Why am I different?"

"You're different because you don't want affection from me. You push me away."

"You pushed first."

And then Edward gets it, and his eyes really do light up a little as all the emotional machinations and obsessive ruminating he's unwillingly listened in on among all the people—vampire and human—he's encountered during his whole vampire life orient themselves to make Rose's dilemma clear. She's wanted—she's _needed_—him to show her that he loves her, in spite of all the ways she pushes him away. She's been testing him, from the start, and he's never done anything but fail.

"Oh," is all he says, but he looks at her with a new compassion, and a new understanding, and if you were watching Rose in that moment, you would swear that despite her vampire physiology, she blushed. Certainly, her head drops, and she bites her lip, both very un-Rose-like actions in everyone's view except Emmett, who circles an arm around her and pulls her into him.

Rose leans in to Emmett for a moment, resting her head on his shoulder, but then she pulls away again and sits up straight, addressing Edward in more of her normal tone, though less grating and more business-like than usual, and says, "So you see, I am very well situated to tell you that if you desert Bella, she'll never get over it. I still think she's a fool to pick you over a normal life; she has no idea the value of what she's throwing away." Rose juts her chin out then and puts on her everyday mask as she adds archly, "But then, neither did you, so I guess it just shows you two were made for each other."

Edward laughs, just a little, and Alice claps her hands.

But Rose turns on Alice. "You, on the other hand, are being unforgivably selfish, Mary Alice Brandon. What, am I not sister enough for you?"

"Rose, you know it's not like that—"

"I know nothing of the sort! You just like the idea of having someone around to do your bidding, and to humor you in your crazy notions. _I_ certainly don't do that, but you'd think having Jasper following you around like a puppy would be enough to satisfy any woman."

"Rose! He does _not_ follow me around like a puppy!"

Rosalie responds with an airy, "Whatever you say, Alice" at the same time Esme tries to assert some maternal discipline with a reluctantly-scolding, "Girls!"

Alice doesn't listen though; she's riled up already and Rosalie just hit on a private source of hurt for Alice: Rosalie's less-than-enthusiastic embrace of her as a sister. "You're one to talk about rejection, Rosalie Hale!"

Rose just looks placidly at Alice, enjoying the power of getting Alice worked up and relieved to have the spotlight off her insecurities with Edward.

Rosalie's placid look starts to fade however and some defensiveness creeps in as Alice continues, "Ever since the day Jasper and I showed up on your doorstep, you have looked down on me like I'm less than you, not just shorter than you. Oh yes, when you want to talk fashion or complain about Emmett ("Hey!" Emmett says, a little surprised and hurt, not realizing Rosie every complained about him, nor that there was anything to complain about) or get me to read tea leaves for your honeymoon plans, you're friendly enough, but as soon as you have what you want, it's Bang! Don't let the door hit you on your way out, Alice!"

Rose is taken aback, reviewing Alice's words in her mind and feeling a beginning sort of fear that maybe, just maybe, there's some truth to them. As she sits there, Alice closes her eyes, seeing the future in which Rosalie will come to her to make amends. Her outrage gone as quickly as it descended, Alice sighs and says, "I forgive you, Rosalie. I know you don't mean to be cold to me sometimes; you're just not the sort of person to be very interested in other people's lives. But you are loyal, and funny when you feel like it, and you are the best shopping partner a girl could ask for—Bella isn't going to change that. It's just, when you're in your own world with Emmett, and Esme's busy with her designs, and Jasper's off being Jasper, I get lonely sometimes. And you're right, it _is_ selfish, but I swear I wouldn't interfere if I saw Bella being happier without Edward than she is with him. Truly I wouldn't," she says earnestly, looking away from Rose and at Edward as she does so.

Edward grimaces, and taking another unnecessary deep breath starts in, "I know you wouldn't, Allie, but I don't think you're trying hard enough to see a path for Bella without me, and—" the next two words are said more quietly, gently even, but they still land on Alice with the force of a physical blow, "without you."

Alice sniffs back a sob, and Jasper puts his arm around her. For a few seconds, Alice cries quietly, then, like a prisoner to the guillotine, or more relevant to her former life, like an enforced patient to the electroshock room, Alice pulls back her shoulders and closes her eyes, deciding to leave Bella the way Edward wants her to. Because the decision is clear and heartfelt, borne of Alice's deep need and love for Bella and her abiding love and respect for Edward, even though she thinks he behaves like an ass at times, the future spills forth with voluminous rapidity. Both she and Edward gasp at Bella's pale and emaciated appearance; at the lack of expression in her slack face and the lack of life in her eyes; at the motorcycle gang she approaches and finally at the cliff she clearly intends to jump off when Edward yells, "Enough!"

Alice had been so caught up in the onslaught she hadn't been able to turn the tide of her own decision-making, but the agony in Edward's voice frees her to revert back to her original position. But she's not the only one changing her mind. Despite himself, despite all the hard-and-fast arguments he's made in support of leaving the woman he loves as soon as possible, Edward is caving. Where his sisters and brothers and parents could not move him, the picture of a devastated Bella does. He cannot bear to think of her hurting like that, and even as he remonstrates with himself, "But it will get better, eventually," he knows that he is incapable of standing by and letting her suffer so profoundly for any length of time.

Sighing like an exhausted human, his shoulders sagging as all the fight goes out of his bearing and attitude, Edward collapses on what remains of the chair, resting his head in his hands, his elbows propped up on the table. "What do I do?" he asks everyone, and no one in particular.

There is another silence, more peaceful this time, as all those that love him (including Bella in her dreams) wonder what words he needs to hear to forgive himself for loving a human, and inevitably consigning her to the life that most of them, Emmett excepted, feel some degree of regret in having as an exchange for a normal, happy human life—as time-limited as those happy human lives must be.


End file.
